


The Educational Value of Books

by BlessedLunatic



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 04:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlessedLunatic/pseuds/BlessedLunatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander finds an interesting book in the library. Giles wigs everyone out. Everyone except Jenny, that is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Educational Value of Books

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally published on ff.net in August, 2011). My very first Buffy fic. This little thing popped into my head one morning while I was still half asleep and begged me to write it down. So I did. 
> 
> Takes place sometime early Season 2 - Before The Dark Age.
> 
> The characters belong to Joss Whedon. Any grammatical errors or lack of proper sentence structure belong to me.

"Whoa!" Xander exclaimed from somewhere within the library stacks. "I think I just found Giles' porn stash."

"My WHAT?" Giles' head shot up from the book he had been immersed in.

"His WHAT?" Buffy and Willow echoed from the table they were seated at - Buffy with a confused glare, and Willow with a look of outright horror. They'd been, much to Giles' annoyance, discussing their weekend plans instead of actually looking at the demonology texts they held in their hands in some guise of interest.

Xander sauntered down the stairs, whistling, as he stared at a large dusty book, turning the pages with wide eyes.

Giles recognized the book immediately. "Oh, that." He took off his glasses and sighed. "That is not pornography, I'll have you know. It's an ancient illustrated text of...of...sexual...um..." He sighed again and put his glasses back on. "Oh, all right, it is pornography. But it's very old, very intricately hand-drawn pornography, and...and that makes it of...of extreme historical, cultural, and educational value."

"Oh, it's educational all right!" Xander agreed with raised eyebrows. He rotated the book sideways and frowned. "I didn't think THAT was even anatomically possible."

Giles strolled over to where Xander stood and nonchalantly peered over his shoulder at the page in question. "No, that's...that's entirely possible." He looked back down at the book in his hand, completely unfazed.

Xander whipped around and stared at Giles in shock, not quite sure if the shock was based on disgust or curiosity. As weirded out as he was by Giles' response, he couldn't resist the urge to push the prim and proper man a little further. Annoying him was a great source of free entertainment.

"You know that from personal experience, G-man?" He smirked.

"Hmm?" Giles glanced back up from his book. "Oh...uh...yes." He paused, then looked back down, raised his eyebrows, and spoke in that tone that seemed to say _'I'm bored by this inane conversation and why is everyone else so incredibly stupid?'_ "I think you could have assumed that based on my assurance that it was possible."

The smirk fell from Xander's face.

"Giles!" Buffy exclaimed in surprise and castigation.

He looked up. "What?"

"Eww?" She waved her hand around to indicate the entire conversation that had preceded. Xander nodded furiously in agreement with Buffy's statement. Willow just stared.

"What? You asked. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Honestly, I have to listen to three inexperienced teenagers prattle on about cute boys and who's kissing whom, but you can't handle one simple adult admission of sexual experience? Since you never miss an opportunity to point out my age, I'd imagine you could safely assume that someone as old as I would have 'done the deed' a time or two, and furthermore...furthermore...um...Willow, dear, are you quite all right?"

Willow was staring straight ahead, eyes wide and mouth slightly slack, and all the color had drained from her face.

"Willow?" Giles tried again.

Buffy leaned over and waved a hand in front of Willow's face. "Wil?"

That snapped her out of it, but her eyes were still huge. "Huh?"

"You okay?"

"Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm good. I just zoned out there for a second and ended up in some scary parallel universe where Giles was talking about...you know... _sex_." The last word came out as a whisper, and the color returned to Willow's face quickly and thoroughly until it matched her hair. She wouldn't look at him.

Giles' look of concern shifted to exasperation as he sighed and removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Good lord, what do you three think I am, a eunuch?"

He put his glasses back on and looked up to find three sets of eyes fixed on him, unblinking.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"In my defense," Xander broke the awkward silence, "I have never talked about cute boys."

Giles let out another sigh of exasperation and looked at the ceiling, as though divine inspiration might give him a clue about how to deal with teenagers.

Just then, the library doors swung open and Jenny Calendar walked in.

"Hey guys, what's up?" She surveyed the wide-eyed expressions on the kids' faces and noted the awkward silence that had settled in the room. She then glanced to the book in Xander's hands, being held away from him as though it emitted a foul smell.

"Whatcha got there, Xander?" Jenny walked over and took the book from him, then whistled in appreciation as she took in the artwork. "Rupert, have you been corrupting the children?" She glanced at him with raised eyebrows.

"Yes," Buffy spoke up, "Yes he has. He's been saying many horrible, awful, terrifying things that will cause us to need years of extensive therapy."

"Not to mention that we're never going to look at him the same way again," Xander included, though his tone wasn't entirely negative, and there was, perhaps, a touch of admiration in it.

"That's for sure," Willow agreed, glancing up at Giles as she spoke, then quickly averting her eyes and blushing.

"Oh for...I didn't...all I said was..." Giles sighed, yet again. "Oh, never mind. I give up."

Jenny was flipping through the pages of the book now, eyebrows still raised. "Whew!" she breathed, a little heavily. "You were right, Rupert."

"I..." He blinked, unused to hearing those words from her. "About...about what, exactly?"

"Of course," she continued, "there's no shortage of this sort of thing on the internet, but, wow, there is definitely something to be said for the knowledge gained from books!"

Now it was Jenny's turn to be stared at, and this time Giles' eyes were just as wide as the three teenagers.

The awkward moment was shattered by the sudden ringing of the bell indicating the end of the school day.

Jenny casually slipped the book into her tote bag, an action that was not missed by anyone, all the while giving Giles a significant look. His eyes met hers and his cheeks flushed scarlet at the unabashed heat in her gaze.

"Kids?" She didn't look at them or wait from them to answer. "Have a good weekend." Her gaze was still locked with Giles'. "Rupert?"

"Y-yes?"

"Walk me to my car." It was not a request.

"Yes." He turned back to the others, almost as an afterthought. "We'll talk more...later...about the...the vampire...thing." And with that, he practically threw the book he'd been holding onto the table and hastily scurried out the door after Jenny.

Buffy wrinkled her nose and gave a disgusted snort. "The 'vampire thing'?"

Willow tried to make her mouth work, but no words were coming out.

Xander shrugged and turned to Buffy and Willow. "Okay," he said, brow furrowed in confusion, "what's a eunuch?"


End file.
